Tuan Nguyen’s family has a rule: They Don’t Talk About Grades.
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Tuan understands the importance of communication, life learning and connection. He’s also working to build the creative mindset within his own family.
His Blended Family
Tuan and his partner have a blended family that includes two daughters and a son– ages 15, 12 and 5 years of age.
Being part of a blended family has taught him many lessons, especially now that he has two daughters. From the beginning the kids fit well, but it took some work for him to build the relationship with his daughters. It was clear that the key to their success would be good communication and connection. What puts his family apart are what they put into practice to build that connection.
Communication Tools
A game changing tool for their family as been Jim Sheils Family Board Meetings Strategy. Listen to my episode with Jim here. This includes specific scheduled time–four hours minimum, one on one with each child. And no technology during that time. This strategy created a remarkable space for communication and connection. As well, a space for his daughters to teach him how to deal with the emotional situations of adolescence. They have given him their own name- “Sedad”- which he embraces.
Extended family
Tuan’s wife owns a restaurant with her siblings so this means all the family kids come to Tuan’s after school. From 3:45pm he is helping with homework, cooking dinner, and being a support to them. It is a busy home but one that has created strong family bonds for all the kids. He is part of their learning which he says extends far beyond homework and school. When I refer to the kids, I’m talking about all 7 of them.
The Power of Sports
Sports have been the saving grace to some of the challenges the kids have faced.
Soccer was the choice for their oldest daughter, Athena who was shy and hyper-focused. The soccer team has helped with her communication and collaboration skills. She now shines as a major player on the field and is being scouted by soccer coaches from the US.
Their other daughter is a social butterfly with less focus. Tuan decided to enrol her in Tae-kwondo which he also attended with her. He saw that Tae-Kwondo would help her cousins with their lack of confidence so he enrolled them as well. They all practice and train together.
What About The Grades?
Tuan’s family does have a rule around grades. He says they don’t talk about grades. What they talk about is where they are at the moment, and they ask if there is any place in their life that they can do better. It is about present reflection, and improvement. He asks where is their focus?
What they’ve found is that the kids recognize where they are. Their focus and confidence is amazing. That is where the family places value. Confidence, focus and preparing for future success.
So What About School?
The schools the kids attend are unique to where they live in Ottawa. The older children are all in high school. The boys attend an English program, the girls a bi-lingual program. The girls are fluent in French.
The younger boys, including Tuan’s son, are in French school. Tuan’s son attends a different Catholic French School.
English school, French school but Vietnamese is the language that they speak at home. Tuan is trilingual.
French. English. Vietnamese. Got That?
They are looking into other options for their gifted oldest daughter, including homeschooling. She is feeling completely unchallenged at school and disconnected from her teachers. She recently suffered a head injury from soccer and suffered from PTSD. This kept her away from school for a length of time which allowed them to look at alternatives. Her desire is to create a program on her own.
Their other daughter, Peony had no interest in homeschooling before. Now as she enters grade 7 she is realizing she has deeper gifts that she wants challenged.
Home Education Projects
Tuan and his family already do a lot of home education projects. They have began a book they read daily together- Top 10 Rules for Success by Evan Carmichael. They read one rule together in the morning before they go to school and share it with each other.
A few years ago Tuan gave them a handcrafted book he received on a business trip. Since Oct 3rd 2015 they have used that book to journal every night. The focus of the journal? Write one problem and gratitude statement. The problem is a problem they would like solved one day. They now have written over 750 problem and gratitude statements!
These practices have spilled over into their individual projects:
They understand that the key to making money will be solving a problem that no one else has solved. They are building the creator mindset.
Athena is building an app with a developer that Tuan has connected her with. The app is for sports scouting. Now being through the process first hand, she feels it is too old school and needs to modernization.
Peony has started a clothing company called Positive V+bes. You will be able to find her story and merchandise on the website letshugitout.com
Tuan doesn’t say they have to build their own business. He wants them to have the skills and confidence to run forward with any dream they have.
Want To Learn More About Tuan?
After his divorce, Tuan was feeling down and he saw that he needed to connect with people. The connection he created was with other business dads. The commonality was personal growth for themselves and their families. They all agree in providing opportunities for their children to explore and excel. From this he developed The Dude Buddha movement and Awesome Biz Dads Podcast.
Having his own kids has changed Tuan’s perspective. It has helped him believe more in himself as a parent and person.
