Kelly Airhart has lived through every parent’s nightmare, the death of her 3-month old baby, Elijah. In this interview we talked about how she’s dealing with grief.
We also talk about her family’s educational journey, which they chose largely due to the intense sense of loss and grief the entire family has been through.
The Intense Pain of Infant Death
Kelly was out of the house when it happened. Her son Elijah was 3-months old. For all appearances, Elijah was a healthy baby boy. There were no signs of sickness or ill health.
Yet, he died suddenly.
The subsequent medical investigation turned up no signs of suffocation. Thus, his death was ruled a case of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). These cases are heart wrenching. There is no indication, no explanation, only a beautiful young life snuffed out when it was just beginning.
When Kelly returned home, she saw her husband trying to revive Elijah. When I asked her later in the interview if she would change anything about her grieving process, Kelly shared that she still thinks about the fact that she was away when it happened.
The Grieving Process and The Family’s Response
Kelly doesn’t sugarcoat it or hide behind a veil of false positivity. Elijah passed away two and a half years before Kelly and I spoke, and she’s honest about the fact that she’s still dealing with the grief, because, as she says, “I have to wake up every morning knowing I’ll never see Elijah again.”
She doesn’t put on a face of false positivity, but at the same time Kelly isn’t filled with doom and gloom either. She sees the mysterious way in which Elijah’s passing has been a blessing for her family and the world.
For one, they decided immediately what was most important. They came closer together and prioritized each other. They committed to deepening their love for each other and act it out every day.
They also commit one act of kindness in Elijah’s name every day. It’s their family’s belief that kindness has a ripple effect and even if it starts out small will eventually create a much larger effect on the world.
Another change they made was to live life entirely on their own terms. This has meant several different things. For one, her husband decided to go after his dream of becoming an MMA fighter. He began training intensely and has had two amateur fights.
Kelly also left her work, because during the grieving process she knew that she needed to be with her family. The same can be said of their decision to home educate. They were in a Montessori school before Elijah’s passing, and when the next school year came around they decided not to re-enter school because the kids, too, needed more family time while grieving.
These life changes allowed them to take the mission deeper. She became an author and illustrator and has published two books. More on that below.
Their Mission
Elijah’s death was tragic. No two people grieve in the same way, but for Kelly and family, an important part of their grief and recovery has been to ensure that Elijah did not die in vain. They created Elijah’s Family Changes The World as a vehicle to spread kindness one act at a time.
Which brings us to the topic of Kelly’s book titled Elijah Loses His Smile. The main character of the book is Elijah. He loses his smile due to other kids’ teasing. And the rest of the story is about him getting his smile back. His parents get him an ice cream, which helps, but on a deeper level they teach him about self-acceptance and kindness.
These are the main values Kelly is seeking to spread through her book and her mission.
The book is already published, which is the hard part for most independent authors. Now, her task is to spread the word about her book to get the message out. Which is why she’s launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund the promotional efforts.
Their plan is to take their converted school bus and travel around on a book tour, mostly to libraries, spreading their message of self-acceptance and kindness.
I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like the ultimate unschooling experience for her kids.
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Thank you and see you next time on Honey! I’m Homeschooling the Kids.
